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Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Taiwanese Student Abducted by Aliens—Misses Class
According to an official government document filed in Taiwan, a National University of Tainan student recently missed class on December 15 because he was abducted by aliens. The student’s excuse for his absence was marked, “Approved.”
Classmates of the student—whose name was withheld from the media—posted the approval form on the Internet and said it was “cool.” Some of them said he should be invited to appear before the entire student body to describe his experience with the extraterrestrials.
Unfortunately, the aliens erased his memory of these events; and he has apologized to his professor.
University officials (who, for all I know, may have been reptilian shape shifters) said that the official who had approved the abductee’s absence from class was “new” and had “carelessly” approved the request for approved absence. (Suggested translation: “The official who had approved the form was human and not privy to reptilian secrets.”) A school official, who for all appearances seemed as human as you or I, ominously intoned that “there are certain things that should not be joked about.” (Suggested translation: "Reptilian shape shifters have no sense of humor.")
We are told that the university employee who had inadvertently spilled the beans about aliens at the university was orally reprimanded but not punished. (Suggested translation: "She was forced to take the blue pill but was not disintegrated.") The person now occupying her position seems to be the same person as before and not a shape shifter impersonating her; but, with reptilian shape shifters, it’s sometimes hard to tell.
Some students reported an earlier incident in which a student filled out a sick leave form claiming that she suffered from princess syndrome, but that the request was disapproved. Princess syndrome is Taiwanese slang used to describe a girl who thinks of herself as a “princess” and is therefore exempt from responsibility or hard work.
If I understand the term correctly, a lot of male politicians and Wall Streeters in the United States suffer from princess syndrome. Perhaps a good example would be the NWO front man Newt Gingrich—a Vietnam-Era draft dodger who is now eager to send others’ sons and daughters fight in illegal wars, as well as an admitted adulterer who campaigns on a platform of “family values.”
Would it be too much to hope that most of our presidential candidates get abducted by aliens? It probably would. Most politicians are shape shifters anyway: They appear to be just like the rest of us when they’re running for office; but, as soon as they get in office, their reptilian traits become evident.